farage twat
A UKIP member of The European Parliament in Brussels, complete with description, pictured last night


Following yesterday’s UK airline ban on electronic devices on flights from certain Middle Eastern countries, there was further anger last night, this time amongst members of the far right, United Kingdom Independence Party, after budget airline, Ryanair, announced, that from midnight tonight, no UK passengers will be allowed to bring colouring-in books or crayons onto any of their flights to Brussels, home of The European Parliament

The airline claim that this is a security measure to prevent further unruly behaviour following an incident last week when two UKIP MEPs, bound for Brussels, began fighting in the aisle after one of them accused the member in the seat next to him of leaning across and scribbling with a green crayon on his picture of a house and garden.

A spokesman for UKIP told reporters last night: “This is an absolute outrage and another shining example of discrimination against the people of Great Britain.

“I bet they won’t ban the Dutch from doing their miniature oil painting on chartered flights or the French from getting stuck into their disgusting cheese sandwiches as soon as we’ve bloody taken off.”

Referring to last week’s disorder, he explained. “Yes, there was a very minor altercation and it shouldn’t have happened.

“The fact of the matter is, one of our members did actually scribble on his neighbour’s picture and things became heated.

“Even though the provocation was severe the member concerned should not have acted that way and should have just settled for telling his mum when he got home”

Ryanair last night confirmed the ban and stated that if any British passengers were caught trying to board with any colouring-in equipment whatsoever, every passenger on the flight would have to sit on their hands in complete silence for 10 minutes after landing and would be made to stand outside Ryanair CEO, Michael O’Leary’s office door while everyone else goes through passport control.

Many thanks to our friends at News Thump, who also like lampooning bigots and were kind/foolish enough to run this one for us: