corbyn shout to the top
A defiant Corbyn addresses dissenting voices at a “Stop The Wanker” fringe Labour Party meeting last night


Beleaguered Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn sent out a defiant message to his detractors last night when he told The Whitechapel Whelk, that despite his rank unpopularity with the electorate the length and breadth of the country, he is convinced that by covering up his customary howlers when addressing The House of Commons by raising his voice to a shrill crescendo immediately after another cringeworthy gaffe, he will convince party members and voters alike that he is the man to lead the country for the next 5 years.

“I’m convinced that my embarrassed shouting is the key to winning this election for Labour”, he told us.

“It certainly worked in the past. I well remember the occasion when I forgot to ask a question during my address to the Prime Minister during Prime Minister’s Question Time, and instantly saved the day by raising my voice to a reedy whine when I rose to my feet to respond to the jeers and catcalls that were ringing around the chamber.”

Some Labour MPs remain unconvinced by Corbyn’s argument however. One anonymous Member told us: “It’s going to take a lot more than Jeremy’s shouting after another risible howler to get us out of this hole. What really needs to happen is for him to sling his fucking hook.”

Corbyn last night began his uphill battle to win over disenchanted Labour voters by flying to Uruguay to address a small rally of 150 striking rug weavers in Montevideo.