trump pointing meme

According to a recent report, under-fire United States President, Donald Trump, may have consumed the equivalent of his entire body weight in bodily fluids that have been mixed into his food by irate kitchen staff at restaurants where the deeply unpopular president has dined since he entered The White House in January.

Fluids, including, saliva, sweat, diarrhoea, urine, and even semen are believed to have been added to his food by various waiters and cooks since Trump took office, particularly by those of Mexican, Middle Eastern and Korean extraction.

The report, issued last week by Boston University, publishes the findings of a survey conducted amongst various members of hotel staff who claimed to have contaminated the president’s meals with their bodily secretions.

These include a chef at the plush, Mar-A-Lago complex in Palm Beach, Florida, who claims that he urinated in Trump’s duck a l’orange, a waiter who masturbated into the mixture for his creme caramel, and a female cleaner who said she had wrung out the mop she had just used to swab a heavily-soiled toilet floor into Trump’s brown windsor soup.

Just hours after the report was published, Trump took to Twitter and appeared to laugh off the findings “The failing Boston University are claiming that I have inadvertently consumed urine. That’s a bigly lie my friends. Donald J Trump has never done anything like that without paying for it first”

These latest findings come just a week after British Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, was accused by Prime Minister, Theresa May, of spitting into her mashed potatoes as they queued for their dinners in The House of Commons canteen last Wednesday afternoon.