Social network giant, Facebook, have announced plans to introduce an audible whining option for account holders who habitually use their timelines to moan constantly about their lot in life.
The high-pitched whine will be available to those complaining of depression, family problems, work-related issues, and even minor complaints, such as stomach upsets or superficial cuts and bruises.
A Facebook spokesperson said last night: “Nobody ever takes a blind bit of notice of these irritants from one week’s end to the next, so we thought we’d give them a chance to bore the pants off of their followers via the medium of sound too”
The move has been widely applauded by Facebook users, although one woman we spoke to last night, said, “It wasn’t loud enough for my taste. I need something really guttural for when I’m droning on about my ex-partner or kicking up fuck about my bladder”
The announcement comes just a month after, rival social media giants, Twitter, introduced the option for account holders to emit an anguished shriek of despair following the death of a favourite celebrity.