box in a desert
Mr Dell’s holiday cottage in Southend pictured last night

A 40-year-old Whitechapel man suffering from a morbid fear of open spaces, who is also terrified of small, enclosed ones, has been standing in the front doorway of his home in Commercial Road for the last 32 years, The Whitechapel Whelk has learned.

Toby Dell, single and unemployed, told us: “It’s been a pretty tough last 32 years in all honesty. I have to have all my meals bought out to me or delivered to the doorway and going to the toilet afterwards is always a bit tricky.

“I used to just pull my trousers down and do it in the doorway, but the neighbours complained to the council, so now I wear incontinence pants which I throw out into the road when I’ve finished going.

“Forming a relationship has also proved difficult as not many girls are prepared to stand in the doorway with me while I have sex with them, but I hope that one day I’ll meet someone with the same condition and start a family.

“We could get the kids to get the shopping and take the dog for a walk while we wait for them in the doorway”

Mr Dell’s mother, Mary, who shares a home with him, told us last night: “It’s not too much of a problem during the summer as I just open the back door to get a nice cooling through-draft, but it costs a fortune to heat the place during the winter and it’s no fun watching TV with 3 layers of clothing and an overcoat on I can tell you”

We have offered to pay Mr Dell a small fee for talking to us which we have placed inside an extremely cramped Portaloo cabin in the middle of Hackney Marshes ready for collection.

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