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Fed up. A visibly disappointed Mr Dell pictured last night


A 47-year-old Whitechapel man has told The Whelk that he has become increasing alarmed by the appalling physical appearance of some of the people that Facebook post to his timeline under the heading of “People You May Know”

Toby Dell, a plasterer’s hod carrier, told us: “You wouldn’t believe the state of some of ’em. The women are probably the worst. I was treated to one the other day who looked as if she’d been repeatedly smashed in the face with a frying pan.

“Would it be too much to ask that they vet some of these people before plastering them all across my page?

“There was a young kid of about 10 on there the other day who was so rank I mistakenly took him for being ex-New York mayor, Rudi Giuliani”

Facebook issued a brief statement last night: “We’re sorry that this gentleman has been treated to some ugly kids and the odd diabolical tugboat, but we can’t pick and chose who we send. It’s all done by computers and suchlike.

“We’ve now sent this gentleman a voucher for 5 pounds and a picture of Marilyn Monroe with no togs on to make up for it”