An extremely spurious poster pictured last night


A dying woman has left her family devastated by confessing that she was a fan of the Saturday night TV talent show, Britain’s Got Talent, and used to record every episode before watching them in secret while alone in the house.

Tracy Dell, 87, who passed away peacefully at her home in Commercial Road last week, made the confession to her husband, Toby and their 4 children as they sat by her bedside shortly before she died.

Mr Dell, 90, a retired dustman, told The Whelk: “It was a shattering blow for all of us when Tracy told us of her secret life.

“We assumed she hated the show like the rest of us, and would even join in the scornful piss-taking whenever it was mentioned.

“When she dropped this bombshell on her deathbed it was as much as I could do to keep myself from giving her a good hiding. I probably would have done if the kids hadn’t held me back.

“In the end, I just hurled abuse at her and tipped a jug of water over her head.

“The whole family are completely devastated by this.My two daughters haven’t stopped crying and the boys have taken to the drink.

“I forgave her for having an affair with my dad once but I shall hold this one against her until my final breath”

A spokesman for ITV, who screen the show, told us last night: “It’s great news that this lady was a fan of the show, it’s just a pity she’s dead as the audience figures are bad enough as it is”