No procreation please, we’re Bobbies!


A report compiled by Cambridge University has revealed that a shocking 99 percent of serving British police officers haven’t been neutered and are allowed to wander our streets, free to breed at will.

However, the report has been strenuously denied by The Home Office who issued a statement last night: “As a matter of course, every one of this country’s police officers is neutered as soon as they graduate from the Hendon police training facility to prevent indiscriminate breeding.

“If you want evidence to back this up you only have to look at the fact that you never see any baby police officers patrolling the streets or riding around in police cars”

One of Britain’s most senior officers, Cressida Dick, The Metropolitan Police Commissioner, also questioned the report’s findings: “I’m pretty certain all my officers have been neutered. I know I have been and so has my deputy.

Cambridge University last night backed up their evidence with photographs of a litter of feral baby Detective Inspectors living on waste ground in Aldgate in East London.