tinfoil-twat

With all these terror attacks taking place across the UK in recent months, I’ve been devoting a good deal of time to working out the reasons behind them, and I’ve reached two inescapable conclusions.

Firstly, you never see Her Majesty, The Queen, helping the victims at the scene of any of these attacks or offering survivors a bed for the night at Buckingham Palace.

Nor do you ever hear her slagging off the Muslims on the radio or the telly like you do with Nigel Farage.

This undoubtedly points to the fact that she is the mastermind behind the whole sorry business. No question.

I’m utterly convinced that was radicalised by Muslim extremists while on a royal trip to northern India in 1955 and has been plotting her revenge against those she regards as the ‘Crusader infidels’ ever since.

The fact that she’s appointed herself head of the Church of England and Defender of The Faith is clearly just a sly move to throw the British feds off the scent and is further proof that she’s in this business right up to her murderous royal neck.

Secondly, I’m convinced that Pippa Middleton, the little sis of Prince William’s missus is The Queen’s willing accomplice in this one.

She deliberately gets married or shows off her arse in public to distract the press from uncovering The Queen’s diabolical little game. It stands to reason when you think about it.

I’m not sure if Prince Philip is aware of all this, to be honest, but I’m going down the pub at lunchtime and hopefully, someone in there will be able to tell me.

Stay safe and stay vigilant
TT

Tinfoil Twat is the editor-in-chief of The Barking At The Moon Herald