from our SOCK! POW! BIFFO! editor, Danny SoZ
The Whitechapel Whelk can exclusively reveal that the largest concentration of complete twats ever gathered together within a small area has been recorded at Whitechapel British Legion Club, where 52 total pillocks gathered last weekend to wax lyrical over publications that they should have grown out of when they were 12.
The East London Comic Con, attracted blithering idiots and intellectually-stunted mummy’s boys from right across the capital, many of whom were dressed as their favourite comic book characters, making them look even more like utter spacks than they actually are, if that were at all possible.
We took our findings to the National Geographic Society who confirmed that this was indeed the largest concentration of girlfriend-free, ocean-going dweebs and dingbats ever gathered together in one area, narrowly pipping a meeting of The Surrey & District Young Conservatives in a church hall in Reigate in 1965.