The Whitechapel Whelk can exclusively reveal that popular actor and TV personality, James Corden, has begun eating himself and has already consumed his left arm and part of his right leg.
A close friend of the Carpool Karaoke star told us: “I first noticed that James was eating himself when a few of us went to a barbeque at his place a few days ago.
“It started when he accidentally got some smokey BBQ marinade on his fingers.
“He began sucking on them to clean them up, then, all of a sudden, he began biting them off one by one and eating them.
“He even put his thumb and pinkie on the grill and basted them with Piri Piri sauce before gnawing the flesh from the bones, a bit like you would with a spicy wing or a spare rib.
“Since then, he’s been gradually eating more and more of himself. He started on his left leg yesterday and has already eaten his foot and the best part of his calf. We’re all a bit worried, to be honest.
“What about if he eats his head? He won’t be able to do his talk show, let alone sing in the car with the likes of Madonna and Michelle Obama”
A leading psychologist told us: “Cordon’s condition is symptomatic of someone suffering from deep-seated narcissism combined with anorexia.
“In short, he absolutely loves himself but hates being a fat fuck, hence the self-cannibalism. It will be playing havoc with his cholesterol levels, I’ll tell you that much”
Corden’s rare condition was once suffered by roly-poly, BBC Radio London presenter, Vanessa Feltz, who eventually gave up after it took her 3 days to eat one of her fingers.