danny sparko meme

Dear Danny

I’m a single mum with two young children aged 2 and 4. During this hot spell of weather I bought a small inflatable paddling pool so that the little ones could cool down and have some fun in the water.

Unfortunately, when I got it home I discovered it had a hole in it so I took it back to the shop to ask for a replacement.

The manager was really rude and accused me of puncturing it myself through careless handling. I became really upset by this and started crying.

Please help if you can Danny as I’m struggling financially and simply can’t afford to throw money away like this.

Thank you so much.

Tracy Dell

Commercial Road

Whitechapel


 

Dear Tracy

I went round to the shop and asked to see the manager. When he came out of his office, I stuck the nut on him, breaking his nose

I then went to work downstairs, landing some really meaty body shots which sent him to the deck like a sack of spuds

Next, I gave him a few toe-enders in the kidneys and finished the job by stamping on his face, giving him the old 5-millimetre tread.

One of the girl shop assistants then started begging me to leave him alone, saying that he wasn’t worth it, but I told her to shut it and that it was between me and him.

I then took his wallet from his jacket and took all the wedge out. There was over 200 sovs in there which I’m sending to you so you can buy the saucepan lids a decent pool. One of those ones with solid sides would probably be favourite.

All the very best sweetheart, and if you get any more grief from this slippery mug just let me know and I’ll dive round there again and give him another straightener.

All the very best, princess

Your pal

Danny

Danny Sparko is Head Doorman and Features Editor of The Grievous Bodily Gazette

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