iron
An iron pictured putting a marriage at risk last night

 

A 25-year-old Whitechapel woman has admitted that she felt her love for her husband of 7 years wane after she came home from the shops and found him ironing a small number of tea towels

Tracy Dell, a nursery nurse, told The Whelk: “The moment I saw Toby ironing those tea towels something inside me broke and I felt my love for him diminish.

“I’m not really sure why. Maybe it was his stance at the ironing board, which looked pretty gay if I’m being honest with you.

“It was either that, or it was the way he was sprinkling small amounts of water onto the towels with his fingers before pressing them with the iron like some kind of big mincing fairy.

“Whatever it was, I know that I shall never love him as deeply as I once loved him. Not ever.

“In fact, as far as I’m concerned he’s pretty much dead to me now”

In other related news, a 27-year-old man from Aldgate in East London has been unable to achieve an erection with his wife after he watched her servicing the power steering pump on his Honda Civic.

If you’ve been affected by any of the issues raised in this article then I suggest you start having a tawdry affair as soon as possible