chilli-vinegar-2
Some bottles of chilli vinegar pictured in The Queen’s larder last night

 

A source close to the Royal Family has told The Whitechapel Whelk, that Her Majesty, The Queen, drinks 2 bottles of non-brewed chilli vinegar a day in the belief that the condiment disinfects her insides and preserves her vital organs.

“The Queen drinks a bottle straight down as soon as she wakes up,” the source told us “Then, just before she turns in for the night, she downs the second one.

“She never uses a glass, she just unscrews the top and downs the contents in one go and throws the empty bottle in the recycling.

“She has tried to convince other members of The Royal Family of the benefits, but they don’t want to know.

The only one who gave it a try was Fergie, who took a few swigs one Boxing Day after dinner, but she didn’t like it and spat most of it down the sink”

A spokesman for Edike, a leading maker of chilli vinegar, said last night: “Our product is a delicious accompaniment to a wide variety of foods, particularly pie and mash, but we wouldn’t recommend drinking it straight from the bottle to be honest. It would probably make you shit through the eye of a needle for one thing”

The Queen is not the first monarch to have an unusual taste in beverages.  Both William of Orange and his wife, Queen Mary II, were in the habit of drinking a glass of each other’s urine before copulating, in the belief that any resulting progeny would grow up with a massive grudge against Irish Catholics.