Reports are coming in that pop icon, Barry Manilow has seized power in The Democratic Republic of Congo following a daring military coup in the early hours of this morning.

Manilow, 74, stormed the DRC parliament at around 1.00am this morning after seizing other strategic buildings, including the state radio station and the ministry of defence

The Kinshasa Times reported this morning: ‘Barry Manilow now holds power in the DRC. It became apparent that he’d staged a successful coup after he was heard singing, I Can’t Smile Without You, on the radio before sensationally announcing that he was gay.’

The daring takeover comes just 6 months after Great British Bake Off presenter, Paul Hollywood, was driven back to Liverpool by Swedish troops after a doomed attempt to seize the parliament building in Stockholm.

Barry is appearing at The Whitechapel Working Men’s Club between November 7 and 15.
For tickets, send £789 cash to:
Whelk Enterprises
Tickets Division
103 Commercial Street
Whitechapel E1
No refunds or arguing in the extremely likely event that your tickets don’t arrive