Going viral: Windows 10 pictured trying to look all innocent last night


A 35-year-old man from Commercial Road has blamed a damning review he gave to Microsoft’s Windows 10 operating system for a 48-hour bout of vomiting and diarrhoea that he suffered shortly afterwards.

Toby Dell, a ceiling fixer, told The Whelk: “I was absolutely fine until a prompt appeared on my screen, asking me how likely it would be for me to recommend Windows 10 to a friend.

“I ticked the box marked, “Extremely Unlikely” and then, just 2 days later, I went down with this really bad stomach bug.

“If you ask me, Microsoft sent me a virus through my laptop as a punishment. The germs probably come out through the speakers or the USB port or something.

“Next time, I’m going to say that Windows 10 is great, even though it’s absolute shite. After all, it’s better safe than sorry at the end of the day”

In a similar incident in 1987, a Shoreditch man told his wife that he blamed the lukewarm feedback he gave to Microsoft about their Windows 3.1 operating system for the virulent bout of syphilis he was suffering from at the time.