Policing a sprawling and diverse city like London can be a fraught, and even perilous business from time to time, but it does have its advantages too.
Take the opposite sex for example. Everyone knows that the ladies have a soft spot for a man in uniform and police officers are no exception.
Last Wednesday, I was having a few quiet drinks in the pub over the road from the station after a particularly gruelling shift when an attractive blonde came in and made a beeline for me.
We got chatting, and after we’d had a few more pints and 5 or 6 doubles, she invited me back to hers for a nightcap.
Once we got back to her flat she told me she was going to nip into the bedroom to slip into something more comfortable.
I realised at once that time was of the essence and quickly rifled through her cupboards until I found a bottle of Johnny Walker.
By the time she came out wearing stockings, suspenders and a flimsy negligee I was unconscious on the kitchen floor lying in a pool of piss and sick.
PC Ted is the District Chairman of The Advanced Liver Disease Appreciation Society
Artwork by ‘JIF’. Check out her blog right here why doncha?