trump welcome billboard

American people living in the capital have hit out at State Department advice to ‘keep a low profile’ during today’s anti-trump demonstration which is expected to attract tens of thousands of people to the capital.

Many Americans, who have been carefully storing their piss in bottles in readiness to hurl at Trump’s car, are furious at being sidelined.

The Whelk spoke to one woman, Tracy Dellinski from Brooklyn, NY, who told us: “My boyfriend and myself, along with all our friends, have been peeing into bottles for months in anticipation of lobbing them at Trump, and now they’re asking us to stay home.

“Well, they can go hang as far as I’m concerned. I’ll be lining up outside the American ambassador’s place this afternoon with my bottle of whizz at the ready and I’ll be launching it towards the fat orange fuck the first chance I get.”

If you’re an American in London and find yourself reticent about attending, don’t be. Come and stand alongside myself and The Whelk editorial team and we’ll happily share our bottles of stale Jimmy Riddle with you – Ed. #Resist