brexit man
A ‘Brexiteer’ pictured earlier

 

Supermarket giants, Waitrose, have responded to rival chain Morrisons’ introduction of a ‘Quieter Hour’ to benefit shoppers on the autistic spectrum, by launching an ‘Ageing Thick Bastard Hour’ aimed at Brexiteer customers.

The store has announced, that between 16.00 and 17.00 on Saturdays, a medley of 1930s hits will be played over the tannoy, interspersed with military marches and wartime favourites.

Male checkout staff will be dressed in 3-piece, pin-striped suits adorned with a watch and chain, while the females will be sporting floaty gingham dresses and straw boaters.

Staff who are non-white or have foreign accents will be sent to work in the stockroom or made to sweep up the yard for the duration.

The move has been welcomed by Brexit hardliner, Jacob Rees-Mogg, who told newsmen: “This is a first-class initiative that will reinforce the belief that Britain will be much stronger when we stand alone, just like we did in ’39.”

Rival supermarket giants, Tesco, have denied reports that they are introducing a, ‘Trump Supporters Hour’, during which shoppers will be encouraged to drive their cars at black people in the car park.