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A house at Xmas, inside which, a teen may, or may not, be masturbating

A 16-year-old Whitechapel boy has begun making plans to masturbate successfully on Christmas Day in a clandestine manner that won’t carry the risk of being disturbed or discovered by relatives.

Toby Dell, an engineering student from Commercial Street, is hoping to get at least 3 sessions in on the big day, starting with an early morning Xmas Day ‘tube clearance’ in the bathroom while everyone’s still asleep.

Dell then plans to squeeze in a pre-lunch session in the downstairs toilet while the family are enjoying a few drinks, or are helping with the preparation of Christmas lunch.

The youngster, who last Christmas, successfully masturbated through his pocket at an evening carol service at Christ Church in Spitalfields, then hopes to pleasure himself to completion in the shed while everyone’s having a post-lunch afternoon nap.

Dell realises that, above all, he has to avoid the complete disaster that took place on Boxing Day in 2016, when he sneaked off to the bathroom for hand relief only for his grandmother to spot the dried ejaculate on his carpet slippers before drawing it to the attention of the entire family including his new girlfriend