A 47-year-old telecommunications service engineer has told a the Whitechapel Whelk that his heart sank when he was told to repair a fault on the line of an elderly subscriber as he knew that he would be assailed by the smell of soup or stew simmering on the stovetop as soon as he entered the house
Toby Dell, a father of 4 from Whitechapel in East London, said: “As soon as the boss told me to check out this old girl’s line problem my heart sank like a stone.
“It’s bad enough when you have to listen to them droning on about their late husband or the war, but when you’ve got the stench of some kind of stew up your hooter the whole time it gets a bit much to bear.
“Some of these old dears must cook soup 24/7 every bloody day of the year.
“I’ve never yet attended a call-out to a woman over 60 that didn’t involve inhaling the stench of a stew of some description.
“I mean to say, what do they do with it for God’s sake?
“Don’t they ever bloody eat it?”
It is estimated that at any one time throughout the London area, over 4 million old ladies have a large saucepan containing soup or stew simmering on the stovetop. Some with butter beans and dumplings.
February 7, 2019 at 9:36 am
Lol.. Maybe he thought it was that Janet Godley impersonation of Nicola Sturgeon that talks about soup…Cruella De May and Brexit…
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February 7, 2019 at 9:51 am
We rather like young Nicola here at Whelk Towers. It takes us back to those happy times when we were lavatory wallahs for The Krankies.
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February 7, 2019 at 10:42 pm
Ah…The Krankies. I hope you will do a post on this soon xx
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February 7, 2019 at 11:53 am
Probably Cock-A-Leaky soup, don’t you imagine?
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February 8, 2019 at 2:19 pm
I really must insist that you moderate your language, Hugh. There could be impressionable Tea Party members reading this.
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February 8, 2019 at 11:18 pm
who dinnae want tae see the Krankies….. x
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February 9, 2019 at 2:49 am
It’s hard to imagine that such people exist really, but I guess even The Krankies have their detractors.
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February 9, 2019 at 10:33 am
I ken. As we say here.. Awfie, is it???
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February 7, 2019 at 12:30 pm
Oh please, not butter beans.
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February 8, 2019 at 2:17 pm
They made our sports editor the woman he is today
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February 7, 2019 at 5:13 pm
Ain’t nothing better than beet/turnip broth. Toss in a rutabaga and you got heaven.
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February 8, 2019 at 2:17 pm
Rutabaga? There’s a kind of Latin-American dance isn’t it?
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February 8, 2019 at 2:23 pm
That is correct. It is an extremely licentious dance involving root vegetables that has been banned for centuries. It only recently regained its popularity, mostly among millennial hipsters. May they rot in hell.
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