A 50-year-old Whitechapel woman has told The Whelk that she had sex with her husband in front of their laptop computer while downloading the popular Mozilla Firefox browser.
Tracy Dell, a shop worker from Vallance Road, told The Whelk: “My husband Toby and I have always been pretty adventurous when it comes to our love life, so when he suggested getting down to it during a Firefox download, I was all for it.
“It happened last Saturday night and I’ll never forget it as long as I live. It was so intense and dangerous, and yet it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
“Toby went out and got some fish and chips while I went upstairs and put on a french maid’s outfit.
“We washed down the fish supper with a few cans and then Toby put the laptop on the coffee table facing us and began the download
“We kissed passionately and then started going at it full pelt in front of the screen.
“The knowledge that the Firefox wizard was downloading the file just a few feet away was delicious, and although Toby had to keep getting up to click on various prompts, it was the most thrilling experience of our lives”
A spokesman for Mozilla told us: “It’s ridiculous to think that our wizard can see what’s going on in people’s houses during a download, although we must say that Mrs Dell has a pretty decent rack on her for a woman of her age”
February 11, 2019 at 6:21 am
Ah yes, a woman of her age.
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February 11, 2019 at 6:46 am
As Michael Caine’s great London character, Alfie, would no doubt have put it: “She’s getting on a bit but she’s in lovely condition” π
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February 11, 2019 at 12:17 pm
I dread to think what goes on in your head, Mr Whelk. π
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February 11, 2019 at 1:45 pm
Yes, it’s all a bit of a worry really, my lovely π
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February 11, 2019 at 1:38 pm
Now that the Dells are on to them, I expect a bad outcome in the next week.
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February 11, 2019 at 1:47 pm
Yes, they’re a bit like the Borgias but with an intimate knowledge of rhyming slang π
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February 12, 2019 at 4:53 am
Hah!
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February 28, 2019 at 1:23 pm
I’ll never look at browser downloads differently ever again!
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February 28, 2019 at 5:00 pm
Different strokes I guess. π
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