The island of Gibraltar will be abandoned to the Spanish and rebuilt on the big face of British pop icon, Olly Murs, in the event of a no-deal Brexit, it has been revealed.
A Foreign Ofice spokesman told newsmen last night: “If we leave the EU without a deal on the 29th of March, the government will give up Gibraltar to the Spanish and rebuild the territory in its entirety on Olly Murs’ big face.
“The capital, Gibraltar, will be constructed on his enormous forehead, while the other small towns will be dotted around other parts of his massive face.
“Olly will then be towed out to sea by tugs before being anchored somewhere in the English Channel where we can keep an eye on him and where sovereignty won’t be an issue”
“The population of 35,000 will then be shipped out to his face to begin a new life”
Murs himself was unavailable for comment as he is in rehearsal for a series of concerts in various northern holiday resorts, but his mother, Beryl, 97, said last night: “Olly is absolutely delighted and is really looking forward to a small British territory being set up on his gigantic dial.
“He’s made his father and me very proud, I don’t mind telling you”
The government last night denied growing rumours that Murs had objected to Gibraltar’s famous monkey population being moved onto his face on the grounds that they might go up his nose and swing on the hairs