yorkshire

A 45-year-old London man was killed instantly by a fatal stroke yesterday when a man from the north of England tried to begin a conversation just moments after sitting down next to the deceased man on a Number 24 bus from Pimlico to Hampstead Heath

Witnesses say the northerner seemed to target the lone male who was on his way to work in Charing Cross when the incident occurred.

A woman on board at the time told us: “He just sat down next to this poor man and began chatting.

“It was devasting to witness and it’ll be a long time before I can get the imagery of that northerner’s face out of my head

“He even seemed to be smiling while he did it, for God’s sake”

The attacker was overpowered by fellow passengers and handed over to police, who wrestled the man to the ground and handcuffed him before taking him to Ebury Bridge police station where he remains in police custody awaiting an appearance at Horseferry Road magistrates court on Monday morning, charged with affray, resisting arrest, manslaughter and overfamiliarity.

This latest incident comes just two weeks after a 50-year-old woman from Spitalfields in East London, died in the arms of fellow commuters when a man from Sheffield in South Yorkshire approached her on the platform of Shadwell tube station and reportedly said: “‘ow do missus. It’s turned out reet nice again ah see”

Editor’s Note: It’s a complete myth that Northerners are warm and friendly while Londoners are taciturn and rude. Now get out, the lot of you! GO ON! GET OUT!