The small band of Brexiters taking part in the March To Leave journey from Sunderland to London are reportedly running low on their supply of nourishing elven bread, or Lembas.
A small piece of the wholesome, ‘waybread’ was given to each participant, wrapped in a single Telperion leaf, by march organiser, Nigel ‘Galadriel’ Farage, before they set out on their quest to rescue Brexit from the dark forces of Parliamendor last Sunday.
A spokesman for the marchers, calling himself, Banksie Son Of Bloat, spoke to newsmen from outside his club in London’s Bloomsbury.
“I have been informed of the shortage of Lembas and will be doing everything in my power to ensure that a fresh supply is sent to the boys and girls as soon as I have received the necessary bank transfers from them”
When challenged about the sparsity of the participants, he explained that there were over a thousand to begin with but many had been picked off by fearsome Snowflake Ring Wraiths shortly after setting off from an inn, and by raiding parties of extreme left-wing Remoaner Orcs on the outskirts of Hartlepool
Newsmen later confronted, march organiser, Farage, and asked him why he wasn’t participating himself.
He explained that he had been there the entire time but had been invisible because he’d been wearing the One Ring To Fool Them All.
He then slipped a gold band on his middle finger and disappeared into a wine bar in swish, Minas Mayfair.
Apologies to our valued friends from foreign lands who won’t have a clue as to what we’re taking the piss out of here. It’s basically a bunch of fuckwits trudging through the rain in support of a policy that will bring our country down to the level of a 3rd World banana republic without any bananas.
Think Trump supporters in wellington boots. – Ed