In one of the bloodiest episodes East London has ever witnessed, the entire population of Whitechapel were found stabbed to death earlier this morning.
The bodies of 14,876 people were found by Tower Hamlets council dustmen when they arrived at 5.00 am to empty the bins.
One of the workers, Toby Dell, 32, told newsmen: “It was pretty grim, to be honest.
“There were bodies strewn all over the place. It was like a scene from one of those war films.
“It was obvious that they had all been stabbed as they had knives sticking out of them.
“I know that knife crime has been on the rise recently but you don’t expect this sort of thing do you?”
A Metropolitan police spokesman told reporters: “We haven’t made any arrests as yet but we are currently questioning 13,780 people from Bermondsey in South London and have released 12,453 on police bail”
There has been bad feeling between the two districts since Whitechapel narrowly pipped their South London rivals in the annual, London’s Most Well-Kept Front Garden contest in June of last year.