
In one of the bloodiest episodes East London has ever witnessed, the entire population of Whitechapel were found stabbed to death earlier this morning.
The bodies of 14,876 people were found by Tower Hamlets council dustmen when they arrived at 5.00 am to empty the bins.
One of the workers, Toby Dell, 32, told newsmen: “It was pretty grim, to be honest.
“There were bodies strewn all over the place. It was like a scene from one of those war films.
“It was obvious that they had all been stabbed as they had knives sticking out of them.
“I know that knife crime has been on the rise recently but you don’t expect this sort of thing do you?”
A Metropolitan police spokesman told reporters: “We haven’t made any arrests as yet but we are currently questioning 13,780 people from Bermondsey in South London and have released 12,453 on police bail”
There has been bad feeling between the two districts since Whitechapel narrowly pipped their South London rivals in the annual, London’s Most Well-Kept Front Garden contest in June of last year.
September 24, 2019 at 7:45 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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September 24, 2019 at 7:46 am
Terrible business. Good news for the local undertaker mind.
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September 24, 2019 at 7:47 am
Look, just get out, will you?
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September 24, 2019 at 9:27 am
Did they get the local bobby too?
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September 24, 2019 at 9:29 am
PC Ted Stupor? Nah, he was drinking heavily in Cripplegate at the time while his colleagues dealt with an armed bank raid.
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September 24, 2019 at 10:00 am
Whew! Ted is okay!
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September 24, 2019 at 9:32 am
I blame society.
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September 24, 2019 at 3:08 pm
PC Stupor is so good at avoiding conflict. Thank goodness you escaped so you could bring us the news!
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September 25, 2019 at 4:23 am
Yes, fortunately, we were all in the pub with him
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September 25, 2019 at 3:48 am
Those gardeners are violent types. When they get tired of murdering weeds, anything can happen.
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September 25, 2019 at 4:23 am
Keep my wife out of this.
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September 25, 2019 at 5:44 am
You bet!
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September 25, 2019 at 8:26 pm
Have rents become affordable now?
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September 27, 2019 at 2:02 pm
In London? Listen, even The Lord Mayor has to live outside town!
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