len

It was announced yesterday that Strictly Come Dancing legend, Len Goodman, will be brought down in a controlled explosion on the 23rd of December this year.

Goodman, 116, has become increasingly unsteady in recent years, and structural engineers have expressed concern that the ex- Strictly judge and former dancer could topple over at any time, causing damage to people in his vicinity.

Demolition experts will attach explosives to one of Goodman’s legs, the plan being to blow it off at the knee, causing his body to fall harmlessly to one side onto a piece of waste ground close to his birthplace in Bethnal Green, East London.

A close friend said last night: “It’s what Len would have wanted, in all honesty.

“He’s asked for his Strictly tuxedo to be auctioned off for charity and for there to be a special Argentinian tango night at the York Hall to commemorate his passing”.

Former Strictly colleague, Craig Revel Horwood, told newsmen last night: “It’s not before time, darling. I absolutely hated the old bastard”

 

No overtly effeminate men or hard-faced bitch queens were hurt during the writing of this article – Ed