Ganesh. Would He have allowed the toe-stubbing? The jury is out

A Whitechapel man began to question his faith in God last Sunday after stubbing his toe on an uneven paving slab just a few minutes after attending a sung Latin Mass at Westminster Cathedral.

Toby Dell, a die-setter from Commercial Street, told a Whelk reporter: “I’d only left the cathedral a few minutes previously when I stubbed my toe on the slab.

“I immediately began to question my faith in God and wondered if I would have been better off staying indoors or going down the pub.

“Admittedly, I’d slipped out before the Eucharist to avoid the collection ladies, so maybe God was punishing me for not being in a state of grace when I left.

“It did make me challenge the whole concept of Christianity mind you.

“However, I did say three Ave Marias in Latin on the way home in case God made me accidentally fall down a manhole.”

In a related incident last week, a 45-year-old Muslim man from Bethnal Green stopped believing in Allah just an hour after leaving a local mosque when he slipped on a wet dog turd in Roman Road, squashing it with his hand as he fell.