cocktail-drink-glass-cocktails

In a groundbreaking move, mortgage brokers in London are set to offer handsome equity release terms to buyers who have invested in purchasing their own cocktail.

With the average banana daiquiri – including ice and a glace cherry – going for an eye-watering, £32,000 in the capital, cocktail owners can expect at least £12,000 under a typical, rollover, compound interest deal.

Older drinkers are going to do particularly well, with no repayments due until after their death, whereupon the price of the drink plus interest will come from their estate.

One drinker in a Whitechapel wine bar told The Whelk he was absolutely delighted with the move

Toby Dell, 54, said: “This is great news. I’m going to order a Sambuca Depth Charge for myself and a Moscow Mule for the missus right away.

“Under this new scheme, we’ll be able to afford to get a new conservatory and still have enough left over for a couple of weeks in Antigua”

DISCLAIMER: The value of your tipple of choice may go up or down, although, the latter is highly unlikely – Ed