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Whitechapel in all its splendour before the furious onslaught of the Thunder Bastard

It is being reported that the London district of Whitechapel has been battered by the storm dubbed the Thunder Bastard, Baby Crusher, Hurricane of Death & Despair and that significant damage to property has been suffered.

Bill Giles at the Met Office told BBC viewers this morning: “Sadly, Whitechapel has borne the brunt of the Thunder Bastard and a number of homes have been blown down during the night.

“It’s too early to say if there’s been any loss of life as it’s still a bit dark outside but we’ll have a look on the CCTV for any bodies lying in the street when it’s a bit lighter”

In related news, Bermondsey in South London also bore the full fury of the Thunder Bastard with residents reporting that thousands of pounds worth of improvements have been made.