A 45-year-old man who furiously yanked on his dressing gown cord after it became trapped in his boxer shorts has been admitted to hospital with severe injuries, including a torn scrotal sac and testicular trauma.
Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, told us: “I was wearing just my dressing gown and boxers when the cord got trapped inside my boxers after I’d been to the toilet and had hurriedly pulled them up.
“After fumbling around for a bit, trying to find the other end of the cord I realised the problem and yanked angrily on the trapped section to free it.
“The pain I felt at that point was off the scale and worse than anything I had ever experienced before.
“It felt like somebody was slicing into my nadgers with white-hot cheese wire.
“I sank to my knees and curled up in the foetal position. I don’t mind admitting, I was crying at this point.
“I somehow managed to call the ambulance boys but it wasn’t easy with all those tears in my eyes”
Mr Dell then confided that he had injured his genitalia before in 1982 when he trapped his foreskin in his trouser zip after being disturbed in his girlfriend’s bedroom by her mother carrying mugs of tea and a plate of biscuits.
February 22, 2020 at 4:10 am
I went to visit him last night, bruv. He asked me if I’d mind fetching him an ice cream. When I asked him if he’d like crushed nuts he became so emotional he started crying.
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February 22, 2020 at 4:11 am
That’s Toby all over, bruv. He’s as soft as shite that one.
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February 22, 2020 at 4:12 am
You realise that I’m in love with you, don’t you?
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February 22, 2020 at 4:13 am
Yes. Yes I do.
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February 22, 2020 at 4:13 am
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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February 22, 2020 at 4:14 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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February 22, 2020 at 8:18 am
That brought back memories… Ye Gods, it did!
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February 22, 2020 at 9:08 am
It’s a killer, isn’t it, mate? Not that I’ve ever done it,of course! *lights pipe and dabs at corner of eye with hankie*
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February 23, 2020 at 3:30 pm
Heh he! Faith, Peace and a good pint!
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February 22, 2020 at 12:21 pm
A touching story indeed.
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February 23, 2020 at 8:31 am
Steady on, mate. Family blog and all that.
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February 23, 2020 at 9:39 am
Ooh you are awful!
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February 22, 2020 at 3:08 pm
Poor Toby! (I’m sorry I laughed so much.)
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February 23, 2020 at 8:31 am
That’s ok. Toby’s used to uncalled for harshness in his life.
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March 3, 2020 at 10:56 pm
SoZ perfect! Wish I had thought of it
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March 4, 2020 at 4:29 am
Oscar Wilde would now reply: ‘Oh you will, my dear. You will.’
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