A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told The East London Gazette that popular WordPress blogger, Biff Sock Pow, stole a number of pieces of gnocchi from his plate while he was reading a favourable review of his Whitechapel-based blog on Pow’s homepage.
Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, told the Gazette: “I had just sat down to eat my gnocchi and was browsing through my phone, looking for responses to my latest blog post.
“I spotted Pow’s piece, praising my stuff and including me in his top 5 favourite blogs
“Naturally, I was both intrigued and excited in equal measure and put down my fork as I scrolled through his piece.
“However, when I’d finished reading and readdressed myself to my meal, I noticed that 3 pieces of gnocchi were missing
“I told my wife who explained that I must have eaten them while I was reading, but I’m convinced Pow took them, probably using a fork on a spring that he was manoeuvring from the kitchen.
“It’s my view that he either ate them on the spot or took them back to the United States where he warmed them up in his microwave and had them for his supper, washed down with a shot of redeye”
Pow was approached for a comment but became evasive and told a Gazette reporter, “Blow it out ya goddamn ass”.
For more on Biff Sock Pow, why not give his latest book a try?
My Life Stealing Italian Food is available on Amazon for the price of a plate of tagliatelle in a garlic and basil sauce
March 31, 2020 at 4:14 pm
Hiding all the pasta! 😀
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March 31, 2020 at 4:21 pm
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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March 31, 2020 at 4:23 pm
That’s very Pinteresque is that. I felt shaken and wracked with an inexplicable deep sense of anxiety after reading it.
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March 31, 2020 at 4:26 pm
I’m not surprised, bruv. After all, you wrote it
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March 31, 2020 at 4:27 pm
*maintains enigmatic, Pinteresque silence*
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March 31, 2020 at 4:37 pm
It’s Toby’s fault for thinking anyone showing interest in a blog was serious.
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March 31, 2020 at 7:26 pm
Well, I don’t know about you, but blogging is my life. I rise at 6.00 am and read people’s blogs incessantly until I’m spent, usually at around midnight. Yes, without blogging I would be a shadow of a man, one without purpose in life. One for whom joy would be an unknown sensation. Yes, It’s the blogging life for me, in fact, I’m just off to read a whole plethora of blogs now!
Christ, how I love blogging and everything it stands for.
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March 31, 2020 at 11:18 pm
Have you been tested for this?
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April 1, 2020 at 6:33 am
No time for testing. There’s blog reading to be done!
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March 31, 2020 at 5:47 pm
You can take comfort, Toby that given the restriction on US entry, Biff was apprehended at JFK airport and the gnocchi and he put in quarantine. Sadly for him, they are in two different areas and I hear the gnocchi took up with some big cheese.
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March 31, 2020 at 7:32 pm
I’m afraid I don’t have the time to reply, John. As you will see from my other comments here, I’m too obsessed with blogging and reading other people’s blogs to find time for anything else. I haven’t been to the lavatory for 5 days you know? It’s this blogging business you see? It has me ensnared and lost in the magic of its spell
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April 1, 2020 at 1:52 am
I do understand. I find a five litre bucket secreted under the desk can be a live saver. Also go easy on the brussel sprouts.
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April 1, 2020 at 6:32 am
5 litre you say? Excellent, I shall place it over my head the next time I find myself idly scrolling down the WordPress reader. I owe you one!
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April 1, 2020 at 1:56 pm
Make sure it is empty
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April 1, 2020 at 7:54 pm
Sorry for the delay, John. I was poring over countless blogs as is my daily custom. I can’t seem to get enough of it to be honest. Christ, how I love spending every waking hour studying people’s blogs and marvelling at how great and extremely interesting they all are!
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April 1, 2020 at 9:57 pm
Okay. It’s time to put down your work and take some soothing syrup.
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March 31, 2020 at 6:23 pm
I’m still in shock that you actually made gnocchi! :O
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March 31, 2020 at 7:29 pm
Yes, I was quite surprised myself. I think it’s the blogging lifestyle that inspires me. How I love blogging, especially spending countless hours reading other people’s blogs
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March 31, 2020 at 7:31 pm
Hahaha! I can imagine.
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March 31, 2020 at 7:55 pm
What’s this? You seem a little sceptical of my utter and complete devotion to the world of blogging. How could you, in all good conscience, doubt my insistence that blogging is my world? Why, if you weren’t a blogger yourself, I would murder you in your bed for such infamy! Now kindly leave me while I go off to read other people’s blogs until exhaustion claims me
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April 1, 2020 at 5:03 am
Curses! I’ve been discovered stealing gnocchi again! I would have gotten clean away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those pesky body scanners at the airport. They did not believe that I had six-pack abs when the rest of me looked so 2-liter-bottle-ish. So they had me remove my shirt to reveal that I had fashioned all the gnocchi into an enviable faux physique. They confiscated nearly all of it, but I managed to escape with a single gnocco. I now refer to it as my gnocco uno. So far all it has done is broke up my band.
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April 1, 2020 at 6:30 am
You are the first person to point out to me that the singular of, gnocchi, is , gnoccho. I’ll never forget that, nor be out of your debt.
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April 2, 2020 at 4:32 am
I am a font of absolutely useless information. And yes, I suck at trivia. I can’t figure that out. Perhaps there are not enough gnocchi questions.
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