Emergency services were called to Whitechapel High Street last night when the entire street, from The Royal London Hospital to Aldgate East tube station, collapsed into rubble leaving business owners and residents in shock.
Tower Hamlets Council has blamed the disaster on the existential increase in joggers who have been pounding the pavements since the coronavirus lockdown began almost four weeks ago.
A council spokesman told us: “Some of these buildings are over a hundred years old, so it’s small wonder that they collapsed due to the shock waves all these joggers have produced.
One resident, Toby Dell, 45, who lives on the corner of the High Street and Commercial Street, said: “I’d just hopped into bed with the missus and was about to turn off the bedside lamp when I heard this rumbling.
“The next thing I knew, we’d crashed through the ceiling and were back downstairs in the lounge covered in debris and plaster.
“I mean to say, you don’t expect it do you?”
In other related news; the NHS has announced they’re on the point of collapse due to the number of joggers turning up at A&E with sprained ankles, stress fractures, and joggers’ nipple.