A 24-year-old man who tried to replicate a sunkissed holiday in Magaluf at his home in Whitechapel has fallen to his death from his bedroom balcony as he pretended to be enjoying drunken, hotel room hi-jinx following a night spent drinking heavily in bars along the strip.
Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer from Leman Street, was found lifeless in his front garden, dressed only in Union Jack shorts and a vomit-stained bandana.
His girlfriend, Tracy Carter, 22, wept as she told us: “Toby was gutted when his holiday to Spain was cancelled due to coronavirus, so he set aside two weeks to replicate it in his house.
“He bought loads of beer and cheap spirits from the supermarket and built a little bar in his front room.
“He would go in there every night and get absolutely legless.
“Sometimes, he’d go out in the back yard after a skinful and fall asleep on the path in a pool of sick, pretending it was the main street in Magaluf.
“He even rubbed on loads of fake tan and burned himself with an oxy/acetylene torch to imitate overdoing it in the sun on the first day.
“I’m really sorry that he’s dead because we’d booked a week in Marbella this September and now I’m going to have to try to get the deposit back”
In other related news, a 19-year-old man from nearby Aldgate has slept with a number of drug-addicted prostitutes in the hope of getting the sexually transmitted disease he would have contracted in Ibiza next month if Easyjet hadn’t cancelled his flight.