
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man claims that he was attacked in the street by thugs representing the controversial Ryanair airline just days after requesting a cash refund for his flight to Gran Canaria which was cancelled due to covid-19 travel restrictions.
Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, told us: “I was walking back from work and had just turned into my road when three men wearing balaclavas jumped out of a parked car and attacked me with baseball bats.
“As I lay there bleeding, one of the men threw a card at me and said: “The boss sends his regards, scumbag”
“I managed to crawl home, and after my wife had cleaned me up I looked at the card.
“It said: ‘Congratulations. You have just met the Ryanair Refund Crew’
“I’ll be using Easyjet in future, that’s for sure’
We contacted Ryanair last night who told us they had no knowledge of the incident but if we gave them Mr Dell’s details they would send someone round to ‘take care of business’
April 29, 2020 at 4:44 am
Now that’s customer service!
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April 29, 2020 at 4:49 am
Pretty much, yep.
‘Fly The Fiendish Skys’
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April 29, 2020 at 4:47 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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April 29, 2020 at 11:08 am
Love your headlines !!!!! Brilliant.
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April 29, 2020 at 12:30 pm
I completely agree. It’s the actual copy that’s a load of old toot.
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April 29, 2020 at 11:15 pm
the copy is brilliant. It’s just when the headline comes up in the reader , there’s just this second where I think.. WHAT? Like it is believable cos the world has gone bonkers right now Then I think ahhh mugged .
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April 30, 2020 at 5:39 am
There’s a satirist on the New Yorker, Andy Borowitz, that does that to me every time, especially when he’s writing about Trump. We’re a kind of poor man’s version I guess π
Thanks for the kind words though. Much appreciated π
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April 30, 2020 at 1:06 pm
You’re not the poor man’s anything. You are utterly brilliant. And honest, right now things are so batshit, these headlines could well be real
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April 30, 2020 at 1:08 pm
There’s also..dare one say.. an entire brigade of folks who would go.. ‘ Whot do yer mean?, I ain’t getting my f’ing refund?’ and get get in a rammy like this. ESPESH right now too.
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May 2, 2020 at 7:14 am
A “rammy”. Now there’s a good auld Scottish term for a punch-up that I’ve not heard since I read No Mean City all those years ago π
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May 2, 2020 at 10:00 am
Ken, it’s a braw word. Here in Dundee we talk about stair heidies.
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April 29, 2020 at 6:00 pm
So business as usual for airlines then. π
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April 29, 2020 at 9:13 pm
Mr. Dell will be so pleased to see his new friends from Ryanair again.
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