boris and cummings
Johnson and Cummings pictured during happier times

Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, last night threw his weight behind his under-fire, advisor, Dominic Cummings, after his arrest following a late-night axe attack on his 4-year-old son which left the youngster fighting for his life in a London hospital.

Speaking to newsmen outside No.10 Downing Street, Johnson, who had earlier staunchly defended Cummings’ lockdown breaching 260-mile trip to Durham with his wife and son while both parents were displaying covid-19 symptoms, said: “I have spoken to Dominic and he has assured me that, just like he did when he drove the lad halfway across the country during the lockdown,  he was acting purely from his fathers’ instinct and was using good old-fashioned British common sense when he went for the kid with the axe.

“In any case, the boy is expected to make a full recovery over the months, albeit with a few scars and minus his right arm.

“In my view, it will be character-building for the lad and it’s no worse than the rough and tumble antics that the new boys at Eton were subjected to during their first term.

“Indeed, I was flogged to the bone with a barbed cat o’ nine tails while red hot pokers were applied to my private parts on my first morning and look where I am today.

“So let’s forget this axe nonsense and get on with supporting our wonderful NHS and getting Brexit done”

Cummings was later seen leaving Number Ten, carrying a photo album marked, ‘Boris, Jennifer, and the English bull terrier.