dixon

A 57-year-old Whitechapel man has emerged from a seven-year coma with the astonishing ability to perform, verbatim, an entire episode of the popular 1960s TV cop drama, Dixon of Dock Green.

Toby Dell, a former forklift truck driver who lapsed into a coma after a 200lb bale of raw cotton fell on his head at work in 2013, can now perform the entire show, playing each role, including the female parts, to perfection despite being too young to have ever seen it.

A spokesman for The Royal London Hospital told The Whelk: “Mr Dell came out of his coma three days ago. His first words were, ‘Evenin’ all’.

“He then went on to perform an entire episode of Dixon of Dock Green verbatim. He even produced a harmonica at the end and played the haunting theme tune.

“It was a wonderful moment and we all went down the pub to celebrate”

We called Mr Dell at his home in Leman Street last night. who told our reporter: “Evenin’ all. It was a foggy old evening in Dock Green that night. I was proceeding in a westerly direction on my usual beat when I spotted some villains breaking into a warehouse…”

He then ended the conversation, telling us that his son-in-law, Detective Inspector Andy Crawford, needed him to check out a report of a suspected break-in at a garage in Dock Lane.