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A lucky passenger pictured jetting off to Sheffield on a budget Ryanair flight last night

Controversial budget airline, Ryanair have announced that their recently-confirmed £5 flights to selected European cities will feature a post-takeoff flogging in the galley for passengers taking advantage of the bargain flights.

A spokesman for Ryanair, who recently came under fire for making passengers go to the toilet in their pants if they refused to pay the airline’s notorious £100 ‘chodbin duty’, told newsmen:

“We’re delighted to announce, that for a few hours, customers will be able to purchase tickets to places nobody wants to go, like Albania or Huddersfield for just five pounds.

“However, they will be stripped and flogged with a cat-o-nine-tails shortly after takeoff by way of retribution.

“Salt will be made available to rub into their wounds post beating, subject to a salt and rubbing surcharge payable on pain of death’

In other related news; last week, a Ryanair passenger with suspected coronavirus was charged two thousand Euros for being dragged from the plane by men in Hazchem suits at Dublin airport.

EDITOR’S NOTE: If it’s possible to actually hate an actual company we hate these licenced brigands with a fearsome intensity. In short, I wouldn’t give these robbing scumbags the steam off your piss.