A 54-year-old woman was in hiding last night after revealing that she killed her husband by hitting him over the head with an iron bar and then dismembered his body in the bath after the two had fallen out over the correct method to employ when painting their bedroom ceiling.
Speaking to a Whelk reporter from an unknown location, Tracy Dell, a hairdresser and mother of six, said: “I told Toby that we should use sugar soap on the ceiling prior to painting to ensure a professional finish, but as usual he wanted to cut corners and just brush off any cobwebs before beginning the cutting-in around the cornices and light fittings.
“I just lost it and felled him with the pry bar that he’d been using to lever stray carpet nails from the floorboards prior to laying a new carpet.
“There’s no way he could have survived that, so I dragged him into the bathroom and dismembered him in the tub using an angle grinder.
“I’ve put the bits in black sacks and left them out with the food waste.
“Hopefully, the dustmen won’t notice and he’ll end up as swill on a pig farm somewhere”
It is estimated that in London and the South-East alone over two million married couples fight to the death over home decor disagreements every year.