cheerful senior mother and adult daughter using smartphone together
Holden (right) explains to a Sunday Times journalist how Bill Gates’ latest software update has rendered her sexually insane

Britain’s Got Talent judge and confirmed covid conspiracy theorist, Amanda Holden, last night told newsmen that Britain’s first recipient of the Phizer covid-19 vaccine, 92-year-old, Margaret Keenan, is now completely under the control of Microsoft mogul, Bill Gates, due to a genetic chip implanted in the vaccine

Holden, 75, explained: “Gates now has full control of Mrs Keenan just as he will have control over anyone who takes this vaccine.

“I saw that poor lady’s eyes glaze over as soon as the nurse gave her the shot. She then attempted to pull her sleeve down, probably to conceal the fact that the skin close to the site was bubbling a bit as the genes started to take effect, proof positive that mind control had begun.

“I also noticed she had trouble getting out of her chair and had to be helped to walk out of the room by a nurse, a clear indication that Gates was controlling her leg moments.

“I expect he uses a remote control with a joystick from his front room or something like that.

“He’ll be offering her kidnapped baby blood to drink soon, probably by the weekend, to keep her in good shape and young-looking.

“He already does if for Tom Hanks and George Clooney.

“I’m almost tempted myself in actual fact but I think I’ll stick to the Botox shots. I mean you know where you are with those don’t you?”

Mrs Keenan responded last night in a brief statement to Reuters news agency. She denied being under Gates’ control and referred to Holden as ‘a fucking idiot’