trump whelk

A senior White House insider has revealed that President Donald Trump spent yesterday afternoon on his hands and knees in the Oval Office, searching for a missing coloured brick from his toy, builders set; a clear indication that Trump is now resigned to leaving the White House on January 20th next year

The unnamed official told Reuters news agency: “The President seems to have realised his days are numbered and has already begun to collect up his favourite toys; including his Barbie and Ken dolls, his pop-up reading books, and his collection of Fuzzy Felt farm animals.

“However, he had a problem finding one of the coloured bricks which he keeps in a special pull-along, wooden cart at the side of his desk and spent well over an hour, looking under the furniture for the item.

“He became extremely upset at one point and had to be placated by his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, who told him not to cry and that the federal government would provide him with a new set, complete with a cart, before President Biden takes over next year.

“He appeared to accept this, and after blowing his nose into Mr Giuliani’s proffered hankie, he settled down to watch a box set of Yogi Bear cartoons until it was time for his tea”

The White House press office last night quickly moved to dismiss rumours that Trump has privately threatened to push the incoming President Biden over at the White House handover in January, or that he also plans to pull Mrs Biden’s hair before he boards the helicopter that will take him home afterwards.