queen
A right royal blow? Her Majesty pictured at home last night.

A 54-year-old Whitechapel woman and prominent anti-vaccine advocate has told The Whelk that Microsoft billionaire, Bill Gates, will use a microchip contained in the vaccine that was administered to Her Majesty The Queen yesterday to compel her to give oral relief to movie icon, Tom Hanks, live on the BBC.

Karen Thrawl, an Uber driver from Vallance Road, told our reporter: “Now that the Queen’s had the vaccine she will be under the total control of Bill Gates due to the chip and the first thing he’ll do is make her give Tom Hanks a noshing on TV to discredit her before taking over the monarchy himself.

“He will then make Tom Hanks, The Duke of Edinburgh, and George Clooney will be crowned Prince of Wales.

“They will then all live together in Buckingham Palace, drinking orphan’s blood to keep them young-looking while the Queen and Prince Philip will be put into the lizard enclosure at London Zoo.”

A spokesman for the royal family discredited Mrs Thrawl’s assertions last night: “Her Majesty has not expressed any desire to give Mr Hanks a gamming on the BBC, nor any other television channel, at this time, although, this could be because the chip hasn’t been activated yet” he told us.

Mrs Thrawl’s prediction comes just two weeks after a 35-year-old anti-lockdown activist told The Sunday Times that covid-19 is a myth and that all the dead people are just actors who will eventually jump out of their graves and take over the world led by George Soros and 1960s pop princess, Lulu.