pegman
Roadmap to romance? Pegman pictured playing it cool last night

A 52-year-old Whitechapel woman has told The Whelk that she has fallen in love with the little yellow pegman figure that is used to navigate the streets on Google Maps Streetview.

Tracy Dell, a secretary in a local forklift truck company, told us: “I first realised I had feelings for the Google Pegman when I was planning a family holiday in Mablethorpe in Yorkshire.

“I was using him to negotiate some of the roads leading down to the beach when I began to notice how attractive he was.

“Over the next few weeks, I fell head-over-heels and began fantasising about sleeping with him and wondering if he’d be a considerate and tender lover.

“I tried to make him notice me by using Google Maps while wearing a variety of saucy outfits but he seemed impervious to my charms.

“I’m now wondering if he might be gay and whether it would be worth my while dressing up as a fireman”

Ms Dell’s confession comes exactly 30 years after a 40-year-old woman from Shoreditch divorced her husband after she came home early and found him engaged in a saucy, aural sex romp with British Telecom’s, ‘The Speaking Clock’