Following the ignominious collapse of the controversial, European Super League last night, with all of the so-called, ‘Big Six’ English clubs announcing their withdrawal, East London club, West Ham United have announced that they will break away from the English Premier League at the end of this season and form an East London Super League with just themselves in it.
Hammers CEO Karen Brady, told newsmen: “We’re fed up with all the travelling and the uncertainty of results, to be honest.
“I mean, we went all the way to Newcastle the other day, lost the game and then had to come all the way back again.
After we’ve formed the ELSL, nonsense like having to play other clubs will be a thing of the past.
“When we become, The Big 1, the club will save an absolute fortune in travelling expenses, kit washing, and mowing the grass on our pitch.
“Further big savings will be made on exorbitant transfer fees as we’ll just hang on to the squad we have now until they die.
“Every season, we’ll crown ourselves league champions, without playing a single match, until we go down in history as the most successful club of all time. It’s a win-win situation, to be honest”
Fans of the high-flying Hammers are less convinced of the wisdom of the move, however.
One lifelong supporter, Toby Dell, 45, from Whitechapel, told us: “It’s not a bad idea in principle I suppose but I’ll miss the pre-match booze-up, the half-time pies and the punch-ups with rival supporters afterwards.
“I suppose I could go home and have a straightener in the road with my old woman but she’s a big old sort and nearly always comes out on top”
More as we get it.