tinfoil twat

Dear Tinfoil Twat

My wife and I have been offered our first covid jab, and while we’re mindful of the benefits for ourselves and others, we’re still slightly concerned by some of these vaccine scare stories we’ve been seeing on Facebook.

Any advice or reassurance you can give will be most welcome,

Thank you and stay safe

Tracy Dell
12 Thrawl Street
Spitalfields E1


Dear Tracy

You have every right to be concerned by what the Israeli-controlled Illuminati are trying to do to your body and mind.

Tom Hanks, Jeff Bezos and Phil Mitchell out of Eastenders are hellbent on taking control of your mind via this pork-enriched vaccine and I’d give it a complete miss if I were you.

Only yesterday, a woman on my Facebook friends list complained of sores on the soles of her feet following a long hike in the country.

She was putting it down to ill-fitting boots, but it was immediately obvious to me that Bill Gates was using the vaccine microchip to inflict pain on the woman prior to making her his hapless mind and body slave.

Thankfully, President Donald Trump is using all his presidential power to combat Gates’ fiendish plans and to free the two million kids that the billionaire paedo has entombed in disused sewer pipes beneath London.

Only yesterday, a bloke on Facebook wrote on his status that covid-19 is a hoax and all the dead people are just tailor’s dummies that have been made in a special factory in George Clooney’s basement before being put in hospital beds by his Jewish banker friends. I mean, if that’s not proof positive that the whole thing is a charade I don’t know what is.

So don’t touch this mind-altering vaccine with a bargepole Tracy.

If you get sick with a dry cough or begin to struggle to breathe, take some Vitamin D and swallow a few homoeopathic acorn pills, or, even better, log onto Facebook and see what the latest advice is from Amanda Holden or David Icke, who, respectively revealed to the world that covid rays come out of lampposts and that The Queen is a shape-shifting lizard.

Stay safe and STAY WOKE!

T. Twat
Rubber Room 9
Rampton Hospital For The Criminally Insane
Luton

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’re a vaccine sceptic, leave your name and address in the comments section and we’ll send someone round to batter you from arseole to Saturday until you see the error of your ways