The so-called, Yorkshire variant of covid-19 that has recently emerged in Yorkshire and Humberside, with around 50 cases thus far identified, may have spread to the south of the country, in particular East London, where a number of people have been behaving in an overly familiar manner with complete strangers as well as becoming extremely careful with money – all tell-tale traits of the new variant.
We spoke to one woman from Whitechapel in the heart of London’s East End who suspects that her husband contracted the new strain during a visit to Sheffield in his capacity as a lorry driver.
Tracy Dell, 52, told us: “I first suspected my husband, Toby, has this Yorkshire covid when he started chatting in a friendly manner with complete strangers while we were waiting for the bus.
“He’s now started being really tight with money and keeps shouting, ‘How much?’ when I tell him the price of items I’ve bought in the supermarket.
“I became convinced he’d got it when he started taking an interest in Rugby League and went out and bought a ferret which he puts down his trousers when we’ve got company”
It is understood that another behavioural trait of the new variant is for sufferers to wander into urban farms to feed the animals and examine them for ailments. A practice known as, ‘tendin’ t’ beasts’
Fears are also growing of a so-called Cockney variant which induces criminal behaviour, including; running protection rackets; revenge killing; used car fraud; loud-mouthed shouting in street markets and a voracious appetite for jellied eels.
May 22, 2021 at 8:19 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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May 22, 2021 at 8:20 am
My missus has got the Birmingham variant. She’s started talking like a fucking halfwit.
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May 22, 2021 at 8:55 am
Oi! We’ve got more canals than Venice, I’ll have you know. And we’ve got The Villa. And Black Sabbath. And Spizz Energi. And Pipkins. Especially Pipkins. Where do you think TISWAS was made? I’ll tell you. Birmingham, mate. Yes, Birmingham. Birmingham, B1 2JP. And we split the atom before any other bugger did …
I’ll continue this after my COVID test.
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May 22, 2021 at 10:24 am
F*****g brilliant, Lionel
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May 22, 2021 at 10:51 am
Cheers Mike. Glad you liked it mate. Reet grand!
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May 22, 2021 at 1:06 pm
Please keep this on your side of the pond.
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May 22, 2021 at 4:39 pm
Sounds like Phil Mitchell might be ill with this new variant.
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May 23, 2021 at 3:07 am
Blimey, I ‘ope so!
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May 23, 2021 at 3:45 am
That Cockney variant sounds fearsome. Is one of the symptoms starting a satirical blog?
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May 25, 2021 at 8:15 am
I’m not ruling it in or out.
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May 23, 2021 at 3:40 pm
We had a good laugh at this one, especially as we’re originally from Yorkshire. ๐
I remember moving to London for a year and being treat like a leper whenever I started talking to passengers on the tube or bus. I think they assumed I was ‘special’ or something. Not far wrong. ๐
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May 25, 2021 at 8:16 am
No, you were treated like a leper due to all the sores on your face and body and because your limbs kept falling off ๐
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May 30, 2021 at 5:55 am
Good stuff. I think of some of the characters out of the James Herriot books bringing the Yorshire variant down to London… Hopefully none bring the Dales Devil strain with them!
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May 31, 2021 at 12:42 pm
Eeee thanks lad! That’s reet grand of yer is that!
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