yorkshire
A suspected Yorkshire covid victim pictured leaving his doctor’s surgery last night

The so-called, Yorkshire variant of covid-19 that has recently emerged in Yorkshire and Humberside, with around 50 cases thus far identified, may have spread to the south of the country, in particular East London, where a number of people have been behaving in an overly familiar manner with complete strangers as well as becoming extremely careful with money – all tell-tale traits of the new variant.

We spoke to one woman from Whitechapel in the heart of London’s East End who suspects that her husband contracted the new strain during a visit to Sheffield in his capacity as a lorry driver.

Tracy Dell, 52, told us: “I first suspected my husband, Toby, has this Yorkshire covid when he started chatting in a friendly manner with complete strangers while we were waiting for the bus.

“He’s now started being really tight with money and keeps shouting, ‘How much?’ when I tell him the price of items I’ve bought in the supermarket.

“I became convinced he’d got it when he started taking an interest in Rugby League and went out and bought a ferret which he puts down his trousers when we’ve got company”

It is understood that another behavioural trait of the new variant is for sufferers to wander into urban farms to feed the animals and examine them for ailments. A practice known as, ‘tendin’ t’ beasts’

Fears are also growing of a so-called Cockney variant which induces criminal behaviour, including; running protection rackets; revenge killing; used car fraud; loud-mouthed shouting in street markets and a voracious appetite for jellied eels.