A remote village in war-torn Syria has sent a message of support and sympathy to the people of Great Britain who find themselves unable to enjoy a fortnight’s holiday on a sunny beach this year due to the covid-19 health emergency.
Asawi al Hab, a small village on the border with Lebanon, has been shelled and attacked by government forces, backed by Russian airpower, five times during the last six months, killing or injuring more than half of the population.
Speaking to our foreign correspondent, a doctor in a local hospital, said: “It’s been pretty terrible here for a number of years now.
“Until fairly recently, we were under the brutal rule of Islamic State, and then after they were driven out, our own government started bombing us. It’s hard to say what was worse really.
“So when we heard through the BBC World Service that a number of British people wouldn’t be able to jet off to Benidorm and places like that, we couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.
“Our mayor has written to the British Foreign Secretary, asking him to put Portugal back in the green zone and for countries like Malta, who have a very low infection rate, to be considered for the green list also.
“We are also offering free accommodation for any Brits who want to spend a week or two in our country.
“Of course, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be shelled on a daily basis by Assad’s forces or strafed by Russian fighter jets but at least the weather’s good at this time of year and you’ll go home with a healthy tan, if you manage to make it back that is”
A spokesman for The Foreign and Commonwealth Office told us: “We don’t recommend a holiday in Syria at this time, unless you’re pretty elderly or have an underlying health condition which could result in your body being amongst those piled high in the streets during the third wave”
EDITOR’S NOTE: Get a fucking grip you selfish Brit bastards.
June 5, 2021 at 8:57 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
LikeLike
June 5, 2021 at 8:58 am
Good shit.
LikeLike
June 5, 2021 at 8:58 am
Yeah so thanks for writing it, Danny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 5, 2021 at 9:08 am
A Tragic satire 100% masterly! 👍🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 5, 2021 at 9:23 am
Thanks my friend 👍
LikeLiked by 2 people
June 5, 2021 at 1:11 pm
The Syrians are a compassionate people. I’m trying to arrange a tour for Congress during their summer recess.
LikeLiked by 4 people
June 5, 2021 at 6:22 pm
Glad I didn’t miss this one!
Bang on.
But on the downside I fear Asawi Al Hab could be more cheerful than my native Penge in Saaaf Lundun.
LikeLiked by 2 people
June 6, 2021 at 2:13 am
Thanks.
The depths of the fiery pit of Hades is more cheerful than Penge, and I say that as someone whose wife comes from South Norwood 😦
LikeLiked by 2 people
June 5, 2021 at 10:46 pm
Excellent piece of satire. My favourite type and you do it so well. Well done, Mr Whelk.
LikeLiked by 2 people
June 6, 2021 at 2:09 am
Thank you sweetheart. Although, how you can waste time on here when my fortnight in Benidorm is in the balance is beyond me! 😦
LikeLiked by 2 people