Pop princess, Britney Spears, last night announced that big-faced Brit singer and TV personality, Olly Murs, is to become her new conservator following her father’s recent relinquishing of the role.
Speaking to newsmen from outside her hotel in Manhatten, Spears said: “I’m delighted to tell you that Olly has agreed to become my new conservator and I look forward to having the big-faced Brit as my new mentor and guide.
“I’m particularly looking forward to going for long walks on his massive dial while he handles my financial affairs for a hefty fee.
“I’ve already arranged to have a party for a few hundred friends on his face and can’t wait to let my hair down on his gigantic forehead while he negotiates his percentage cut from my career royalties.”
Murs was unavailable for comment last night as he is currently touring a number of working men’s clubs in Sheffield but the Dance With Me star’s mother, Mildred, 97, told newsmen:
“Olly’s always been a massive Britney fan and can’t wait to make a few bob out of being her conservator while she takes it easy or parties on his massive face”
This latest announcement comes just a few days after troubled pop icon, Justin Bieber, revealed that he was going to spend six months recuperating from a series of drink and drug-fuelled benders inside pop entrepreneur Simon Cowell’s enormous, high-waisted trousers.