Underfire former royal couple, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle last night roared out a defiant message to the British people that they would once again become the Duke and Duchess of hearts by winning a gold medal for Great Britain in the forthcoming winter Olympic Games,
Speaking to reporters last night outside the couple’s California home, Harry said: “I know the British people are feeling a bit let down that Meghan and I have ceased our royal duties but we aim to put that right by winning a gold medal in the Olympics in the two-man bobsleigh event.
“We’ve already started practising on the slide that goes into our pool and we’ve clocked up some pretty impressive times.
“Once we’ve won gold, we’ll come back to Britain as heroes, not like Edward and Mrs Simpson who were never accepted by the British people, mainly because she was a hatchet-faced Yank and he was a Nazi fuck who wanted the Germans to win the war.
‘I’ve spoken to The Queen and she’s all for it and can’t wait to sit down in front of the box at Buck House to watch us slide our way to Olympic glory’
If successful, the Sussexes will equal the feat of Princess Margaret and her husband, Lord Snowdon, who won back the love and respect of the British public following a string of lurid sex scandals, by winning a silver in the 1964 Tokyo Olympics as a tag team in the light-heavyweight, Greco-Roman wrestling.