A 27-year-old Whitechapel woman has finally been persuaded that her 8-year-old son is a rude and thoroughly obnoxious little piece of shit and is not on the autistic spectrum or suffering from any other form of behavioural condition.

After the child ran wild in a local supermarket, tearing goods from the shelves before hurling them at other shoppers for the seventh consecutive week, the mother finally admitted what friends and doctors had always maintained, that the child was just an objectionable little ponce.

Tracy Dell, a part-time hairdresser, told us: ‘I’d always clung to the belief that his bad behaviour was in some way connected to a disorder of some description but I’ve now totally accepted that he’s just a horrible little fuck.’

At the time of going to press, the child had been handcuffed to his bedroom door handle by the mother after urinating on the local priest’s leg during a Latin mass yesterday morning.